


Intangible

by Shotostea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Minor Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28394619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shotostea/pseuds/Shotostea
Summary: Prompt: Tacenda - definition: things that are not to be spoken about or made public, things that are best left unsaid. (I think that’s what it would be? or at least close to it because of unsaid feelings? idk)
Relationships: Tanaka x Kiyoko (towards the end) Prompt: tacenda - definition: things that are not to be spoken, Tanaka x reader
Kudos: 7





	Intangible

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I don’t know how I feel about this one. It’s my first angst piece so there’s definitely room for improvement. Any criticism is welcome :)  
> On a side note: Did I use the word intangible right? (lol I feel like Bokuto)

**Tanaka Ryuunosuke** ; **noun**

**Definition:**

_1\. One of the best people I know._

_2\. The boy that I have a little ( ~~GIGANTIC~~ ) crush on._

_3\. The boy that can never be mine._

One thing that you knew about Tanaka was that he was not a delinquent like everyone says. Sure he has a shaved head and can get out of control sometimes, **but he is one of the best people I know.**

I’m a first year so I didn’t have any classes with him. Our first encounter was when we bumped into each other in the hallway. I tripped and everything fell out of my hands. I thought that he was going to walk away so I just started to pick up my things. But here he was, doing the same thing. He offered a hand to help me up 

“Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going!”

He was worried that I got hurt. I didn’t expect that considering all the rumors that are told about him. Tanaka was his name.

“No I didn’t hurt myself, see I’m all good!” I say to him with a smile.

“ I’m sorry”

“It’s fine, I’m not hurt, thanks for helping me pick up my things.”

He says no problem then we go our separate ways. Hmmm, Maybe what everyone says about him isn’t true. That’s what I thought after the first encounter. 

The second time we met, I had to bring something to his class. When I got into the room, the teacher wasn’t there. I was too nervous to ask anyone so I turned towards the door. I stopped when I heard a familiar voice.

“Hey! didn’t I bump into you the other day? The voice asked.

“Huh?” I turned towards the voice “Oh Tanaka, hi! I didn’t know you were in this class.” I exclaimed. 

“So what brings you here young one? Don’t tell me that you’re going to be in this class now. That’ll hurt my pride” 

“Nah, I just had to bring something to this teacher, but apparently they aren’t in here so I’ll be on my way.”

“Ohhhhh, I know where they went. Come on I’ll bring you.” 

On the way he started telling jokes, and surprisingly he was naturally funny. He wasn’t even trying too hard and it wasn’t awkward. “Well, here you go, they should be in here.” He says as we stop in another classroom that his teacher was in. 

On the way back to our respective classrooms I was still able to speak to him until the rooms were in my vision. 

“ You know, you’re not as bad as people say you are. How do you feel about that, it probably feels bad doesn't it?” 

“Nah, not really. After a while you just sort of get used to it. But I have my friends that are always with me so I don’t really worry much about what everyone else thinks.”

I felt so bad now because of the fact that I thought that he was going to be rude when we bumped into each other the first time. I wanted to say something else but he continued talking.

“ My class is coming up first, but I’ll walk with you to yours. If you get in trouble I can let the teacher know what happened.” Aw, he was so kind.

When we got to the class I didn’t get in trouble, but we still explained why it took so long. As Tanaka is leaving he sees one of my classmates. Kageyama. We were both familiar with each other but I’ve never really gotten into conversations with him because he sleeps most of the time. “ You need to stop sleeping at school and get more sleep at home.” He tells the boy before he walks back to his own classroom.

The few times I see Tanaka again, he was always with his friends. The most recent time, he introduced them to me.

“He guys this is my new friend.” Then he whispers into my ear “It’s crazy how all the times we’ve spoken to each other and I still haven’t gotten your name.”

After I chuckled and looked up at his friends, they were smirking. ‘Ummm should I be scared… or?’

Then the shortest one from the group jumps up happily towards us. “ I’m Nishinoya, those three are Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita. Nice to meet you!”

“I’m Y/n, nice to meet you too!”

After that meeting, they invited me to eat lunch with them when I’m not with my friends. There’s a whole different side of me that comes out when I’m with them, and I’m glad that they accept it.

**TimeSkip: a little over a month**

I don’t know how it happened, but somehow I caught myself thinking about Tanaka on the daily. Whether it be in my dreams or just thinking about what I wanted to say to him, I really don’t know. I was whipped, and it didn’t take long for my friends to find out. I wanted to tell him, but now wasn’t the right time, I don’t know when I can do it. But for now, I’ll just try to keep it under wraps.

One day as I’m heading toward lunch with my friends we hear someone calling my name. It was none other than Nishinoya and Tanaka.

“ Hey! Y/n! You should come to practice with us later! You can be with our managers.”

“What are you guys talking about?”

“Well…. we may or may not have been talking about how amazing you are to the other teammates so everyone wanted to meet you.”

“I’ll see what I can do, tell the itas I said hi!”

When they turned away I went back to my friends smiling. They were all staring at me. Until someone finally spoke up.

“You like him don’t you?”

I blushed. And by blush I mean I felt my cheeks heat up, and I was smiling like a mad man.

“Who Tanaka? Pshhh no, of course not! He’s just a really good friend.”

They looked at each other, then back to me.

“Yeah, you definitely like him. I don’t get why though, isn’t he a delinquent?”

“Actually he’s not, there’s more to how he looks. Sure he acts rowdy sometimes but he doesn’t mean any harm from it, and it’s actually really funny. He’s so respectable and helpful how can you not like him! Wait- I didn’t mean to say that… you know what I didn’t say anything, the bell rang so we should head to class. Bye!”By then ask if then are smirking at me so I just make a run to it. I go to class really embarrassed because I didn’t mean to say that. Hopefully, nobody else heard because I would die if he found out.

After that embarrassing moment, the day just feels extra long and not I’m feeling a little nervous because I’m going to be watching **_the_ boy that I have a little ( ~~ _GIGANTIC_~~ ) crush on **practice with his team. And I’m meeting everyone else to so that’s a lot.

When I get to the gym Tanaka stops everyone to introduce them. Everyone except for Kageyama, Noya, and the itas. They were surprisingly nice and they were just as accepting as Tanaka.

During practice I couldn’t help but focus on Tanaka. He seemed so serious about volleyball and that made me admire him more. Who would’ve thought that this goofball could be focused on something so serious? And he was actually really good at it too. But, I spoke too soon. During individual practice, he somehow managed to pull his shirt off in one go. Then he started twirling it around.

“Put your shirt back on idiot. You’re embarrassing yourself.” Daichi tells him before pointing my direction.

Surprisingly he’s very fit, I assumed he was just skin and bones. But then I realized that I was staring when I saw the captain and him looking towards me. Embarrassing. The fact that this is the second time I’ve embarrassed myself today makes me upset but nobody noticed so I’m good.

A few more months have passed and my feelings have grown for him but he hasn’t seemed to notice. All his attention went to Kiyoko all the time. He was in love with her and yet here I am, pathetically pining for someone who doesn’t want me. He’s so consistent with it so in thought I would have a chance. Until I saw that an old friend of his confessed her feelings, but he had rejected her kindly because his heart ‘belonged to another’

Yeah, I still have no chance because I see how Kiyoko is towards Tanaka. Just because she acts like she doesn’t, that never means that it’s true. When they’re practicing she always has her attention towards the boy. And when he’s trying to get her attention she smiles and blushes when nobody is looking. She’s so nice so I don’t want to tell him about my feelings because I don’t want to feel like I betrayed hers.

Then after one game she lets him hold her bag, and they walk side by side; laughing and joking around and just looking so comfortable with each other’s presence. After that, they’ve gotten closer. I’m happy for him, but it hurts you know, there’s nothing I can do about it.

Watching them stay close to each other, sneaking ways from everyone, holding hands and all that other stuff really did hurt. So I keep my distance from them.

When we all hang out, I don’t sit with Tanaka anymore, since that spot is occupied by Kiyoko now. Sitting with the other second and first years is fun and all but I just can’t help but feel a little empty. Maybe there or there I’d look at them. But I try not to make it obvious. Too bad Noya and Kageyama notice what I’m looking at and they give me a face of sympathy. Everyone one the team (except for Tanaka) knew about your feelings and they felt bad. “I’m sorry” was all they could say.

I’m walking behind them, just seeing how happy he is has me accept the fact that Tanaka Ryuunosuke: A very dedicated athlete, great friend, and the brave caring soul that I fell in love with; is **the boy that can never be mine.**

_**~All that’s left now is the intangible space in my heart that I don’t think I can get back~** _


End file.
